On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good
Women congratulate themselves when they resist the doughnut in the office break-room. They celebrate their restraint when they hold back from sending an e-mail in anger. They feel virtuous when they wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. They put others' needs ahead of their own and believe this makes them exemplary. In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses--often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts--are actually ingrained in women by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins.
Since being codified by the Christian church in the fourth century, the Seven Deadly Sins--pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth--have exerted insidious power. Even today, in our largely secular, patriarchal society, they continue to circumscribe women's behavior. For example, seeing sloth as sinful leads women to deny themselves rest; a fear of gluttony drives them to ignore their appetites; and an aversion to greed prevents them from negotiating for themselves and contributes to the 55 percent gender wealth gap. Loehnen reveals how women have been programmed to obey the rules represented by these sins and how doing so qualifies them as "good."
This probing analysis of contemporary culture and thoroughly researched history explains how women have internalized the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Loehnen shows how women can break free and discover the integrity and wholeness they seek.
In her groundbreaking book, "On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good," Elise Loehnen delves into the complex interplay between women's behavior and the societal expectations placed upon them. Through a blend of personal anecdotes, historical context, and scholarly research, Loehnen exposes the hidden costs of adhering to these standards and challenges the notion that women's "best behavior" is always in their best interest.
Loehnen begins by introducing the concept of the "good girl" archetype, a pervasive ideal that dictates how women should conduct themselves in order to be deemed virtuous and respectable. This archetype, she argues, is rooted in patriarchal values that prioritize obedience, self-sacrifice, and emotional repression. As a result, women who deviate from these expectations are often met with judgment, criticism, and even punishment.
Loehnen then examines each of the seven deadly sins—pride, envy, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, and lust—and explores how they manifest differently in women's lives. She draws on examples from literature, history, and popular culture to illustrate how these sins are often used to shame and control women, preventing them from fully expressing their desires and pursuing their own happiness.
Through her analysis, Loehnen reveals the ways in which women's "best behavior" can actually be detrimental to their well-being. By striving to meet unrealistic expectations, women may neglect their own needs, suppress their true selves, and ultimately lose a sense of authenticity. This can lead to a range of psychological and emotional problems, including depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
Loehnen's book is a powerful call for women to challenge the status quo and redefine what it means to be "good." She encourages women to embrace their individuality, assert their boundaries, and pursue their own passions, regardless of whether or not it conforms to societal expectations. By doing so, women can break free from the cycle of shame and self-denial and live lives that are truly fulfilling and authentic.
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